


misery loves company, dearie.

by TuesdayTerrible



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Angst, Are you happy, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Some clearly not for plot purposes, first chapter may be un-rumbelle friendly for the sensitive souls, i warned you, minor sexual implications, some cannon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-05
Updated: 2016-10-05
Packaged: 2018-08-19 18:45:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8221135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TuesdayTerrible/pseuds/TuesdayTerrible
Summary: "It's not over for him." Through despair, Ruby bonds with Mr. Gold.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first OUAT fic. 
> 
> I don't know if its a stand alone- or if it will be updated.
> 
> I just was really depressed about Rumbelle and how I think season 6 is going to turn out- and so- this was created.  
> Enjoy. Or don't. I don't judge. I'm just grieving.

~*~

 

She wasn't sure how they had gotten here exactly. Broken hearts just seem to have a way of seeking each other out she figured. Or the liquor. Probably the liquor.

Ruby had stumbled into Mr. Gold at the Rabbit Hole. He had set alone at the bar, every seat within his row empty as if his very presence threatened people away from the bar. Ruby herself was bordering on one to many after Dorthy had dismissed her with nothing but a scowl and a click of her heels, leaving her alone and her heart terribly wounded. Perhaps it was the blurred vision from her last shot, but she plopped up on the counter next to him, tapping on the wood for a refill. Mr. Gold hadn't even bothered to acknowledge her just merely continued to down his bourbon. Well, it smelled like it anyway. She offered him a lazy smile raising her newly refilled shot glass.

“To a broken heart.” She said smiling even though her eyes were wet with tears. But behind the blurry haze, she watched as the corner of his lips twitched up into a small smile, and he gave her a nod, raising his glass to hers. And for a moment, Ruby can see a whirlwind of pain behind his eyes, a barely suppressed anguish that seemed to mirror her own.

“To a broken heart.” He echos downing the rest of the liquid in his cup before setting it down roughly on the counter. Instantly she's engulfed in emotion or consumed by alcohol, Ruby isn't sure which but she presses her lips against his in a desperate frenzy hoping to quench an ache deep within her soul.

It isn't the best plan she's ever had, but his trembling fingers grasp her dark locks and he's devouring her with the same sort of desperation and the world is spinning around them, and suddenly he's pushing her off with more strength than she thought someone of his fame possessed.

He slaps some money on the counter, enough to cover the two of them, before sliding off the bar stool, dipping just to grab his cane. “Are you coming or not?” Gold says his usual flawless accent seems heavy on his tongue somehow and Ruby follows him out of the bar.

They end up at his house. She had thought initially that they would drive, but perhaps that wasn't the best idea in their current frame of mind. At least he was composed enough to consider that instead

They manage to stagger through the front door, one Ruby cant remember getting to (did he poof them here?), and onto the couch all the while her hands mauling hopelessly at his three piece suit. His hands seem equally unpracticed somehow and she vaguely wondered if Belle and him were rarely intimate or if perhaps he had just gotten use to the feel of her.

It felt unfamiliar having a man over top of her. The last one who was- she ended up eating. And she had a feeling gold could skin her before she had the chance to do any damage. His reputation after all, did proceed him.

Somehow during her internal monologue he had managed to get her nearly undressed, all but her lingerie and her skirt. She also had managed to get enough of his armor down that he appeared bare chested. His frame was lean for a man and she found that she appreciated that- though drunkenly she wasn't sure why.

“Roll over.” He commanded, his voice harsh- but Ruby didn't expect anything less, as she felt him push up her skirt and push over her panties. The familiar sound of a downed zipper. His hand grasped the back of her neck tightly and as he positioned himself at her slick entrance, before whispering in her ear. “Hold on Dearie, you're in for a hell of a ride.”  
.

She awoke with the blood pounding in her ears, and a throbbing unlike anything she had ever experienced in her head. She sat up slowly but a pull of nausea had her laying back down. She groaned turning her head into the pillow, a familiar scent drifting through her nose and catapulting herself into a sit, despite the lurch of her stomach. She was in Mr. Gold's house. She could smell him vaguely everywhere and panic slugged through her veins.

Oh god what had she done? Belle was her friend. A bit distantly sure, but her friend none the less. And sleeping with your friends recently ex husband? She bit her lip hard enough to draw blood, tears pulling behind her eyes which did nothing but increase the pressure in her head. She had just wanted to forget Dorthy for a little while. None of this was suppose to happen.

Cradling her head in her hands, she managed to look over at the end table, a yellow post it stuck there just in front of the digital clock, and with a shaky hand, she pulled it off to read it.

“There's Tylenol in the bathroom cabinet. Lock up on your way out.”

She shrugged crunching the note between her fingers. She was surprised he had said anything at all.

The trip to the bathroom had proved more difficult than she had expected. She staggered a few times, and was sure she was going to vomit all over his pristine house. And yet somehow, she made it there, shaky hands grasping the bathroom sink. She turned on the water splashing the coolness onto her face and drinking from the palm of her hands like a dehydrated wild woman.

She supposed in retrospect that's exactly what she was.

Thirst temporary relieved, she popped open the cabinet and downed a couple Tylenol. Figuring she may as well shower before she do the walk of shame into her shift at the diner at 9. She had about an hour, and a 15 minute shower wouldn't hurt anyone. Maybe she could wash away her grief, but more pressingly, maybe she could wash away her guilt.

Stepping in the shower before even turning the water on, she noticed the shampoo. One clearly marked for a woman. Belle. She thought softly, starting the water and reaching for the bottle to uncap it. Sure enough when she popped the lid on the shampoo to smell it, it smelled very similarly to Belle, and Ruby felt her eyes tear up all over again.

He's hoping she'll come back. Ruby thought sadly, a brief memory of his tortured eyes at the bar from last night, and she shook her head to clear the image from her brain. Of course he's hoping that.

Ruby knew damn little of Mr. Gold and his relationship with Belle. She knew of his reputation and was always wary of the man even though he had done nothing to her specifically to initiate ill feelings. Ruby always watched him, waiting, like he was some sort of demon come to strike in the night. After all, a man called “The dark one” how good could he really be?

But she had seen it, when Belle had been in danger, when her own father had tried to have her memories erased- not much unlike her grandmother keeping the fact that she was actually a wolf a secret- Gold had nearly came unhinged, choking her father with his cane, and using his magic to pull the cart back to safety.

Ruby learned that day two important things of the man, he would do anything within his means to get what he wanted, but more importantly than that, he loved Belle with all that his dark heart was capable of. That's why she had given her the key when he asked her to anonymously. Because that man wanted Belle happy above all else, and so did Ruby.

She choked back a sob as she washed the shampoo from her hair trying desperately to forget the feel of Dorthy's fingers running through her scalp, and the vague element of Belle tangling in her hair.

.

By the time she had reached the diner, she was 15 mins late after running home to change into fresh clothes, and her grandmother was giving her the look. Ruby just pursed her lips and muttered “bite me” under her breath before sliding on an apron and moving behind the counter.

She fell into her comfortable element, last night almost completely forgotten, that is up until Belle came in and took a seat at the counter in front of her. All of a sudden her chest constricted painfully and she white knuckled the coffee pot as if it was her anchor- she hadnt even considered that shed see her today and inwardly cursed herself for not calling out.

“Belle.” she said hoping her voice didn't come across as shaky as it felt. “What can I get for you?”

Belle stared at her “Um tea and pancakes please.” She said pausing, raising an eyebrow towards her. “Are you alright Ruby. You're holding onto that coffee cup as if it might get away from you.”

Ruby gave a forced laugh, that even sounded bad to her own ears. “You never know.” She said forcing another awkward smile. “Coming right up.”

She managed to avoid her while Granny got Belle's food together. The diner was busy enough it actually didn't look like she was purposefully avoiding her, much to Ruby's relief. But soon enough, people started piling out and Belle's food was done.

“Here you go.” Ruby said setting the pancakes down. It wasn't until Belle reached for her fork did she notice she had removed her wedding ring. Her stomach lurched into her throat suddenly, and she stared at her, long enough for Belle to look at her strangely and question “What?”

“Your wedding ring.” Ruby said dumbly as if that explains it all. “You took it off.”

“Yeah.” Belle says softly, rubbing the skin where the ring use to set. “Its to remind myself you know? That its really over.”

“It's not over for him.” Ruby says before she can comprehend what she is saying., the ghost of his wedding ring pressing against the back of her neck causes her to place a hand there if only to assure herself that its all in her head, that there's nothing there.

“I just...” Ruby continues a bit hurriedly, “I saw him. He's...still wearing his.”

Belle says nothing for a moment , and Ruby can see the longing etched in the furrow of her brow. But Belle clears her throat and offers her a watery smile.

“It'll probably take some time for it to sink in is all.”

And as Belle resumes eating her breakfast, and Ruby leaves to go take the order of the Charming's -who have just seated in the booth- she cant help but argue that it's already sunk in. If it hadn't, there's no way Gold would have slept with her. But she bites the inside of her cheek and swallows down all the emotions she can manage.

.

That was two weeks ago, and here she was a 6pm for their regular Thursday appointment. That wasn't to say she only fucked Gold on Thursdays. Last week she had requested Friday also, after Snow had tried to talk to her about Dorthy.

He had drank so much since Belle left him, his scent smelled like booze consistently. She was convinced that if she needed to track him for any reason, alcohol would be a better way than an article of his clothing at this point.

He constantly smelled like booze and agony, and with each time they coupled, a small chink in his armor would fall apart.

On Monday, as he took her on her knees- just as he had ripped another orgasm from her, her legs shaky and trembling from holding herself up despite the mind numbing pleasure, she felt his body stiffen, his cock swell and she knew the end was near. And as he came apart inside her, she heard him- just an octave above a whisper.

“Belle” a lone tear dropping onto her shoulder, as he pulls out and rolls beside her. His large hand covering his face. She knew if she called him out on it, he would tell her it was just sweat and to stop being stupid. Instead, Ruby bites her lip closes her eyes and lays her hand atop his free one as she forces herself to suppress the sob. You are not alone. She hope it says. You are not alone in your suffering. As the tears pool behind her eyes and down her cheeks.

The memory causes a tug at her heart- and she realizes as he opens the shop door and stands in front of her that at least her “true love” was in another realm. At least she didn't have to worry about running into her. Not like Gold. Gold risked running into Belle every time he went somewhere other than his shop. She offered him a chapped smile. “To your place?”

He shook his head as he tilted his head across the street. “Rabbit Hole.”

It's been a bad day. Ruby thought. I wonder if he saw her today. “Of course” She replied. “You sure you want me to come with?”

He stares at her incredulously. “It's Thursday.”

“I just meant.” Ruby said clearing her throat. “there's a chance someone could see us. And I didn't know if you didn't want Belle-”

She regretted saying her name, it was like an unspoken rule between the two of them that she had just carelessly broken. His eyes flickered with conflicting emotions- things she wasn't practiced enough in identifying- before his mouth settled on its normal scowl, the dark ones hatred fueling his dark eyes. Ruby wasn't unsettled though. She had seen the pain, and nothing could mask that from her.

“She doesn't care.” He said finally, beginning the walk over. It always amazed her how someone crippled could walk as if they owned the world. Yet somehow, Gold always managed to.

So they ended up exactly at they started , in the bar, side by side, drinking.

“Wanna tell me what happened?” Ruby said after her third shot.

He smiles, which surprises her, and with a broken voice answers. “She...She's showing.” He says. “It's..just a bit but um, with bae you see I was away..I never got to see Milah with him. And I just thought...I..” He takes another swallow before straightening up entirely. “It was just more painful than I expected.”

She touches him arm in what she hopes is a comforting gesture before offering her apologies. And she is, so sorry he is going through this. She's not sure what hes mourning more- the loss of yet another child, the loss of his wife, or a wide combination of both.

“Is what it is, dearie.” He says downing the rest of his glass and signaling for the bartender to fill up both glasses again.

“What if...what if I could talk to her for you.” Ruby says “What if I could get her to agree to ...something. Something where you at least see your son. Something...amicable.”

“Appreciate the sentiment dearie, but I don't think Belles going to be quite so....flexible this time.”

“What on earth happened, instead of always speaking in riddles can you just...tell me?”

“Our son. He warned Belle not to let me ruin them, like I had my...previous family.”

The words come out of him hard as if it caused him physical pain. He stared towards Ruby then, really stared at her as if he was looking into the very depths of her soul. “Would you like to see something?”

She nodded, despite her increasingly growing alarm. Alarm that proved correct when he reached his hand into his chest and pulled out his own heart. His heart was a whirlwind of black and red, but in the middle a long lightning bolt of a crack had formed.

“It's breaking.” he says with a chuckle. “How poetic. They are literally killing me. Do you know how many nights I've laid beside you wondering if I put my heart in your hands if you would crumble it to dust for me?”

Ruby stared at the organ in his hand, eyes wide as she studied the wild desperate look in his eyes, before licking her lips and urging him to continue. “Im sure hundreds of people would line up to do it. So why me?”

“True. I suspect that you're the only one who wouldn't get pleasure out of doing it. Though I haven't removed your heart from your chest dearie, I'm willing to bet you have a crack that looks just like mine.” With a groan he thrusts his heart back into his chest. “Otherwise you wouldn't lay with me.”

She wishes she could tell him it wasn't so. She wanted to desperately tell him that laying him wasn't a repulsive feat. He just wasn't her person. She wanted to tell him that there was still hope for him and Belle, even though she didn't believe it herself. She doesn't tell him any of those things though. Instead she swallows her shot .

He must see something on her face because he adds rather brusquely, “Oh don't fret over it, I wouldn't lay with you either under different circumstances.”

She cant help but smirk at that, before rolling her eyes and indicating with a slight tap for the bar tender to refill her glass. “Why...why don't you just change?” she tries gently once her shot has been refilled.  
“Stop lying to her, she – she loves you Rumple. We've seen it. The only one blind to it is you.”

“Even if I did- there will always be an opportunity to grow stronger- and Im always going to want to take it. I cant...protect her otherwise.” Gold says softly. “I am a coward, and being a coward...isn't something you over come. Its just...something you are. The same way she s a hero, the same way you are. I'm not a villain, I'm something far worse.”

“I use to say those exact things.” Ruby says her voice coming out in a rushed hiss. “I ATE my first love Gold. I ate him. You may have ended lives, good lives, but have you eaten someone? Can you imagine eating Belle?”

He stared at her than with a look she cant ever recall being on his face. Not misery, or condescension, not cold, not conniving, not cocky, not even endearment, that she had seen in minor glimpses towards Belle and Neal, once, even Henry. No. This was something entirely different. He looked enlightened. It was enough to ignite a spark of hope in her and she clung to the silence, hoping to have some confirmation that she was right. That maybe , just maybe, Storybrooke's beast could understand- hes not the only one, and hes not the worst.

“I'm sorry.” He says finally, ripped from the moment unable to look at her any longer, though she's not sure why- even though she has a few ideas. So she downs her shot while he finishes his glass, both signaling the bartender back simultaneously.

“We cant keep doing this.” Ruby said as she watched the bartender set her shot back on the counter. “Can we?”

“No.” Gold said as he tossed his back and setting his glass down empty. “The time for mourning is over.”

“I feel odd saying this but...I wish you well Mr. Gold.” Ruby paused tossing her shot back, her head spinning in the process. “I truly do.”

“I find this hard to believe, but I wish you the best of luck as well...Ruby.”

She gaped at him as he covered the tab, and disappeared from the bar vanishing in a poof of dark smoke. A small smile gracing her dark lips....he had called her by her name.


End file.
